■ WIN32 NATIVE • ~29 MB RAM • ZERO TELEMETRY

A tiny, sarcastic coworker who eats your finished tasks.

Desk Goblin is an offline Windows companion who holds your current task right on your screen. Complete the task, click done, and watch him joyfully devour the paper slip with crunching celebration.

ADOPT DESK GOBLIN — $5.00 ✓ One-time payment • Portable ZIP • No subscriptions • Instant download

SYSTEM: Windows 10 & 11 (64-bit)

MEMORY: ~29 MB Working Set

LICENSE: Lifetime Single-User

Desk Goblin - Companion Preview

DESK GOBLIN SAYS

“Another email defeated. An age of peace begins.”

📌 Finish circuit lab calculations

STATUS: READY CLICK SPRITE TO INTERACT FPS: 60

★ 100% OFFLINE PRIVACY

■ NO SUBSCRIPTIONS ($5 ONCE)

★ ~29 MB NATIVE MEMORY USE

■ NO ACCOUNTS OR SIGN-IN

★ ZERO BACKGROUND TELEMETRY

■ DIRECT ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING STUDENT SUPPORT

★ 100% OFFLINE PRIVACY

■ NO SUBSCRIPTIONS ($5 ONCE)

★ ~29 MB NATIVE MEMORY USE

⚠️ SYSTEM WARNING: Modern Productivity Software Detected

Why is a simple task list using 400 MB of your RAM?

Most modern desktop tools are bloated Chromium browser instances wrapped in Electron. They require cloud logins, bill you $12/month on recurring subscriptions, track your keystrokes, and burn battery while you type.

TYPICAL TASK APPS DESK GOBLIN (C++20 NATIVE)

✗ 250 MB – 500 MB RAM consumption ✓ ~29 MB RAM working set

✗ $5 – $15/month recurring subscriptions ✓ $5 one-time payment forever

✗ Cloud telemetry, tracking & accounts ✓ 100% offline local JSON storage

[ SYSTEM MODULES ]

Built with craftsmanship. Zero bloatware.

Six reasons Desk Goblin is the most enjoyable companion for your Windows desktop.

MODULE 01: COMPLETION_RITUAL

The Paper-Eating Ritual

Checking off a box is boring. Finish a task and watch Desk Goblin physically munch and crunch up your paper task slip. Accidental click? One-click undo restores your task immediately.

MODULE 02: WIN32_ENGINE

~29MB

Ultra-Low Resource Footprint

Hand-written in pure C++20 using native Win32 controls. Uses under 30 MB of RAM and 0% CPU at idle. Leave him open 24/7 without heating up your CPU or draining laptop battery.

MODULE 03: LOCAL_PRIVACY

100% Offline & Private

Zero internet sockets. Zero cloud servers. Zero analytics. Your tasks stay on your local disk in your user profile. Nobody reads your work or sells your behavioral profile.

MODULE 04: COWORKER_AI

Sarcastic Coworker Humor

A lovable office companion dressed in a button-down shirt, necktie, and glasses. Click him for dry, witty remarks on workplace jargon, endless emails, and unrealistic project deadlines.

MODULE 05: FOCUS_CLOCK

Customizable Focus Timer

Set hours, minutes, and seconds from 1 second up to 99 hours (defaults to 25 mins). Pauses safely during system sleep and app restarts. When time finishes, he celebrates your sprint without disruptive alarm sounds.

MODULE 06: DESKTOP_FREEDOM

Drag Anywhere & Auto-Hide

Click and drag your companion anywhere across multi-monitor setups. Choose between Small, Medium, or Large sizes. He automatically hides when you launch full-screen games or video calls.

[ SOFTWARE INSPECTION ]

See the real software in action.

Inspect authentic Windows 11 screenshots and package details before you buy.

Desk Goblin Explorer - [Select View Below]

Desk Goblin task desk interface screenshot

Compact Native Task Desk

Full keyboard navigation (Up, Down, Enter, Delete). Add new items with a single keypress, reorder tasks, set custom timer durations (hours, minutes, seconds), and customize companion scale.

• Quick Ctrl+Click on goblin toggles Task Desk window
• Instant atomic local JSON saves
• Safe undo for accidentally completed tasks
• Automatic system tray recovery icon

COLLEGE_STUDENT_MEMO.TXT

AUTHOR: ARI • MAJOR: ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING

Why I built Desk Goblin (and why it costs $5)

Hi, my name is Ari. I am an Electrical Engineering college student paying my own way through school.

Between college tuition deadlines, expensive lab textbooks, and long nights analyzing circuit diagrams, I wanted a simple desktop task companion to keep me grounded. But every tool I looked at was either a recurring monthly subscription, wanted my personal phone number, or ate 350+ megabytes of RAM just to display three bullet points.

So I wrote Desk Goblin in pure C++20. I wanted something genuinely fun, extremely fast, and totally respectful of user privacy.

“For $5—roughly the price of a single coffee—you get an expressive offline companion for life, and you directly help fund my engineering degree. I am deeply grateful for every purchase.”

No venture capital. No investor metrics. Just a student building honest software that does exactly what it promises. Thank you for your support!

Ari G. Electrical Engineering Student & Developer

Support Ari & Adopt Goblin • $5

[ DIRECT PURCHASE ]

One simple price. Yours forever.

No recurring fees. No feature tiers. Instant portable delivery.

Desk Goblin - Lifetime License Offer

STANDARD LIFETIME EDITION

$ 5 .00 USD • ONE-TIME

Pay once. Use forever on all your Windows PCs.

■ Portable Windows x64 Application: 2.82 MB ZIP with the application, quick-start guide, and third-party notices

■ 20 Hand-Crafted Pixel Art Poses: 16 unique routines including shrugs, bows, waves, glasses adjustment, and laughs

■ Satisfying Paper-Eating Ritual: Devours tasks on completion with one-click undo

■ Customizable Focus Timer: Set any hours, minutes, and seconds (1s to 99h) with safe sleep persistence

■ 100% Offline & Private: Local JSON storage with zero analytics or tracking

■ All Future v1.x Updates Included: Free lifetime bug fixes and performance updates

💳 BUY WITH PAYPAL OR CARD • $5.00

Payhip processes checkout. After payment, download your ZIP from the confirmation page or the link in your email receipt.

Windows 10/11 x64 only. One-time price: $5 USD. Applicable taxes appear at checkout.

★ DIRECT STUDENT SUPPORT • INSTANT DELIVERY

Every $5 purchase directly helps fund Ari's college tuition and engineering studies. Download link is generated immediately upon purchase.

[ TROUBLESHOOTING & FAQ ]

Frequently Asked Questions

Answers to common technical and purchase questions.

[+] How do I receive my download after payment?

Complete checkout on Payhip with an email address that you can access.
Download DeskGoblin-Windows-x64-1.0.0.zip from the confirmation page.
Keep your email receipt. It contains a link to download the product again.
Extract the complete ZIP, then open DeskGoblin.exe in the extracted folder.

If the receipt does not arrive, check your spam folder and confirm the email address used at checkout.

Read the quick-start guide or download the version 1.0.0 SHA-256 checksum.

[−] What are the exact system requirements?

Desk Goblin runs on 64-bit Windows 10 and Windows 11. It is compiled with static runtimes in native C++20, meaning you do not need to install .NET runtimes, Visual C++ redistributables, or browser engines. Memory use is approximately 29 MB.

[+] How do I install and run the application?

Desk Goblin is 100% portable. You receive a ZIP file containing DeskGoblin.exe. Unzip the folder anywhere (such as your Desktop or Documents folder) and double-click the executable to launch. It requires zero administrator permissions.

[+] Why does Windows SmartScreen appear on first launch?

Desk Goblin 1.0.0 is unsigned. Windows may show an "Unrecognized app" notification. Check the downloaded ZIP against the published SHA-256 checksum before you decide whether to run it. The application works offline.

[+] Does Desk Goblin collect any personal data?

Never. Desk Goblin has no network socket code, no telemetry libraries, and no analytics beacons. Your tasks and settings are saved strictly on your local disk in your Windows user profile directory.

[+] Can I move my license to a new PC?

Yes. Desk Goblin is completely DRM-free. You can copy your portable folder to your laptop, desktop, or any Windows machine that you own without re-purchasing.